New Generation Love?

If you could pick a man to start conversation with, according to a few photos, a self-description, and personality tests, would you do so? Several years ago the online dating craze began and rather than die down like most fads, it has completely exploded with hundreds of programs and services that guarantee that you will find relationship-material if you're looking for it. You can choose from free services like Ok Cupid!, which pride themselves on some pretty darn interesting and time consuming personality tests, or paid services like Match.com, which provide you with the exclusivity of a membership based program. Online dating can be easy, accessible, affordable, and possibly even successful, but is it worth it for you on a personal level? Is it even worth it for society, as a whole, to be investing so much time and energy into such sites, that could be used having face to face interactions that happen by chance or through social networks?

The issue at hand is that as technology progresses and its networking capabilities infuse into our daily lives, interpersonal relationships created through "real" interaction will begin to wither away, as a vestigial mechanism persay. With the click of a few buttons an individual can pick and choose another individual with whom he or she wants to interact with. I'd rather not argue over this capability because the reasoning prescribed by some that say that globalization allows us to create our own smaller world within the vastness of our globe, is a strong one. However my concern is that the very individual that is picking and choosing his interactions online, would never do so after he stepped out of his front door.

From my social experimentation on such sites I can admit to have come across plenty of profiles of men that I actually know in my "real" life. These men are surely only a small sample of the populace occupying such dating sites, but I stand strong by my generalization that these men have resorted to finding someone through an interface because they have allowed certain personality deficiencies to discourage them from taking risks and meeting women by chance and in a social setting. It isn't that they aren't good looking, or intelligent, or funny, or even good conversationalists. It's that they lack the confidence, and the suaveness, and the assertiveness to bypass the awkwardness of meeting someone new, and get to talking.

Well then what about the women on these sites? Do they also have personality deficiencies as well or have they simply resorted to what seems like their last option? It really could be either of the two options or even none of the above, but I don't believe that there is a sufficient enough reason for any woman to preoccupy herself with such sites. It is evident from the constant news coverage about online interactions gone wrong that online dating can be an incredibly risky way to go about things. It is completely possible to still become involved with a psycho killer just by a casual encounter, but the risks are certainly heightened through such online interactions, merely by the nature of the practice. You skip the awkwardness of the progression of a natural relationship and get right to business, revealing far more information than you may in any one sitting with a stranger. You don't have any idea whether the pictures displayed are an accurate representation of the person who is receiving your messages on the other end and you really can't even tell much from his profile even if it does require a minimum amount of text. It is reasonable to infer that an individual can be a wonderful and captivating writer and still be a complete bore in verbal correspondence.

In our day to day lives, if you are open to the possibilities, there are plenty of social settings with potential relationships waiting to happen. You've got the office or classroom, the gym, the supermarket, the coffee shop, or the book store. You also hopefully have friends, who are in no way related to your online meandering, who have other friends or family that are all members of a network of individuals that you can indulge yourself in. By-chance encounters or network interactions have proven not only possible but successful by plenty of individuals who didn't have any other options before the advent of such socializing interfaces. Besides, forming friendships and relationships through these avenues allows us to develop, mature, and experience life in a healthy manner. It is beneficial for each person to adapt to any given environment and force oneself to interact face-to-face with other people.

The best way to get the ball rolling, if you've already been captivated by the online dating world, is to cancel that account of yours and say to yourself, "This is my only option- finding someone here in this jungle of life in a traditional and natural manner." It isn't as easy as searching for a man by filling out a form of specific options and then clicking enter, but it is far healthier, safer, and more beneficial for the human race. Technology can improve and its uses can progress, but if the entirey of our construction of relationships is mechanized as well, then we will have lost the true essence of human interaction.

To call or not to call, is that the question?

He doesn't text you back once? Fine, there is no reception wherever he is at. He doesn't call you back once? Fine, he is driving and the music is turned up real loud so he doesn't hear his phone ringing. He doesn't text or call back the second time? Attention honey, put down that phone immediately. He's not responding one too many times and you're exerting way more effort than you should be. We've got a serious problem on our hands. It is the story of the girl who likes the boy and thinks that if only he wasn't so shy or intimidated or unsure about their relationship than he would be the one to call. But because he is one of those things or possibly all of those things, than surely the girl has to call and arrange some hanging out time.

Actually this is the story of a girl who has got it all wrong. Sure you like him enough to keep trying to meet up and sure you think you're the girl he is looking for and if only you two could spend time with each other, than that would become clearly obvious. I'm not denying that at all. But have you ever given thought that this guy you have in mind, has his mind on someone else and he is initiating a relationship with the girl of his interest. Maybe you two do spend quality time with each other and when you do it seems like the relationship may be going somewhere, but maybe that is just because you have always been the one to initiate. If this is the case, then you probably need to realize that you are trying too hard to make something from something that will never be.

If the guy likes the girl, then he'll call and he'll text you and he'll be the one asking you out. If he is really into you than you won't find yourself waiting around anxiously for the next time your phone rings with his number popping up on caller ID. If he has the same interest in you that you have in him, you'll know it and there'll never be the indecisive thought running through your head of whether you should be the one to text him first and find out if he has plans tonight.

It is possible that I'm too caught up in the guy asks girl love story but for all of you feminists out there who may be opposed to my view on these matters, I have just one question to ask. Is it right for the girl to be working so hard to get the guy? I say no; it's not right and it shouldn't be happening. Honey if he likes you, he'll work for you; he'll try to get your attention and he'll do what he can to get just one date with you. He'll be the one wondering what he has to do to impress you. It should not be the other way around.

So set down your phone and forget about the guy that you've been waiting on. Hit the dating scene and meet other guys. You're beautiful and as long as you gain some self confidence, you'll be well on your way to finding that guy that'll treat you right. There won't be any waiting and your relationship won't be a game. Your cognitive dissonance will be a thing of the past and you'll finally be given the attention you deserve.

Pregnancy Scare?

You never thought you'd be here yourself. When you overheard those girls last week talking about pregnancy scares, you pitied them in your thoughts and thought, "well if only they hadn't been so dumb." And now here you are, sitting along, in a waiting room full of girls in a very similar sticky situation. You got carried away last night and now you are the one worrying about whether you're going to be carrying a child in your belly in a very short while.

You re-run through your night. You were sober and you had the condoms, but had there been a moment when the passion was flowing and the rubber was off? Was it possible that you got close enough to each other, unprotected, that something could be wrong now?

It's not likely, but yes it is possible. You don't even need to engage in a full fledged love session to risk impregnating yourself. So here you are, not just because you are scared, but because you care about yourself and you care about your future.

It is always important to inform a friend or family member about your situation, but sometimes it seems like an impossible recommendation. It is normal at such a young age to worry about who to go to and how you're going to hide the records, if you do go alone.

Planned Parenthood comes to the rescue in such a dire time of need. Planned Parenthood, originally known as American Birth Control League, was Margaret Sanger's baby, and today the organization runs over 800 clinics in the United States. It's your one stop shop for contraceptive services, emergency contraception, cancer screening, pregnancy testing, pregnancy counseling, STD testing and treatment, sexual education, and abortion services. If you have insurance then the services will be covered, but what about if your insurance is under your parent's account and they will surely find out sooner or later?

Well that is the amazing thing about PP. If you want to keep your visit confidential you can do so, and PP will cover all costs for you, or rather the government will. Your tax money in work, at its best.

The knowledgable nurse practioners are ready to answer any questions you may have and you walk out the door with the proper treatments and contraceptives in hand.

It isn't pleasant to be in this situation and it definitely isn't recommended that you assure yourself that if need be, there is a solution to the future mistakes of your present actions. However, once you are in this situation, do the research and utilize your resources. Seek the support of parents, but if it isn't the right time or place to do so, don't be afraid to turn to Planned Parenthood. Their services will allow you to gain back control over your body and your future.

For more information and to find your local clinic, visit: www.plannedparenthood.org

The Age of Exploration?

You're in your 20's, you're young and fresh and ready to explore the world and his body? It is the age of sexual exploration whether you like it or not. Your girlfriends update you on their sizzling activity, or lack thereof, and your guy friends brag about their rendevous the night before with, ofcourse, the hottest girl on this side of town. If it isn't your friends with the experience to talk about, you'll find plenty of references to sexual relationships on the usual media outlets you tune into. Some girls say they feel the pressure to go further than they themselves feel comfortable going to at this moment in their lives, but some girls are excited about the chance to get close and intimate with whomever they may be attracted to. If you consider yourself a member of the latter group, please dispense with the pressure and don't let it bother you. Do whatever you are comfortable doing and if the person you want to be with, can't respect that, then it is time for you to move on.

Now to be quite frank, this is written for the girls in the latter group; the girls that can't wait to get in bed and get to business. If you are one of these girls, I bet you're curious and excited not because you know what you want, but because you are ready to find out what you want. You want to gain some expertise in one of the most pleasureable activities that two people can share with each other. Not only is this not unusual behavior but it isn't even un-womanly.

We've got a lot of catching up to do, ladies. I know that you would like to think that the man of your dreams will have the purest of minds and that he will enjoy every second he has with you in bed, even if it's average. It's a nice thought but in today's day and age, such guys, who still meet your other "deal makers", have a lot of things on their mind. When pornography is a click away and the hamburger advertisements now require half naked, trim girls, well, honey, our boys feel the impact. They know what they want and there isn't any widespread negative stigma attached to the male viewing these images or videos either. The mind's of today's men are being bombarded with images of the most beautiful of bodies, the most pleasurable of positions, and the most intriguing movements a human body is capable of.

And ofcourse, the images are most likely of other women. So it really isn't terrible if you, even as a courtly and well mannered lady, are interested in trying the things that girl with the fake boobs is doing in that video. It isn't disgusting if you, in your prime and youthful years, want to explore your current potential and see where you can take it from here. As long as you're safe and knowledgable about the consequences that could arise, even if the likelihood of an undesireable consequence is just 1%, then be on your way, my caterpillar. May you become the most sensual and passionate butterfly your man has ever seen in his bed (or yours.)