New Generation Love?

If you could pick a man to start conversation with, according to a few photos, a self-description, and personality tests, would you do so? Several years ago the online dating craze began and rather than die down like most fads, it has completely exploded with hundreds of programs and services that guarantee that you will find relationship-material if you're looking for it. You can choose from free services like Ok Cupid!, which pride themselves on some pretty darn interesting and time consuming personality tests, or paid services like Match.com, which provide you with the exclusivity of a membership based program. Online dating can be easy, accessible, affordable, and possibly even successful, but is it worth it for you on a personal level? Is it even worth it for society, as a whole, to be investing so much time and energy into such sites, that could be used having face to face interactions that happen by chance or through social networks?

The issue at hand is that as technology progresses and its networking capabilities infuse into our daily lives, interpersonal relationships created through "real" interaction will begin to wither away, as a vestigial mechanism persay. With the click of a few buttons an individual can pick and choose another individual with whom he or she wants to interact with. I'd rather not argue over this capability because the reasoning prescribed by some that say that globalization allows us to create our own smaller world within the vastness of our globe, is a strong one. However my concern is that the very individual that is picking and choosing his interactions online, would never do so after he stepped out of his front door.

From my social experimentation on such sites I can admit to have come across plenty of profiles of men that I actually know in my "real" life. These men are surely only a small sample of the populace occupying such dating sites, but I stand strong by my generalization that these men have resorted to finding someone through an interface because they have allowed certain personality deficiencies to discourage them from taking risks and meeting women by chance and in a social setting. It isn't that they aren't good looking, or intelligent, or funny, or even good conversationalists. It's that they lack the confidence, and the suaveness, and the assertiveness to bypass the awkwardness of meeting someone new, and get to talking.

Well then what about the women on these sites? Do they also have personality deficiencies as well or have they simply resorted to what seems like their last option? It really could be either of the two options or even none of the above, but I don't believe that there is a sufficient enough reason for any woman to preoccupy herself with such sites. It is evident from the constant news coverage about online interactions gone wrong that online dating can be an incredibly risky way to go about things. It is completely possible to still become involved with a psycho killer just by a casual encounter, but the risks are certainly heightened through such online interactions, merely by the nature of the practice. You skip the awkwardness of the progression of a natural relationship and get right to business, revealing far more information than you may in any one sitting with a stranger. You don't have any idea whether the pictures displayed are an accurate representation of the person who is receiving your messages on the other end and you really can't even tell much from his profile even if it does require a minimum amount of text. It is reasonable to infer that an individual can be a wonderful and captivating writer and still be a complete bore in verbal correspondence.

In our day to day lives, if you are open to the possibilities, there are plenty of social settings with potential relationships waiting to happen. You've got the office or classroom, the gym, the supermarket, the coffee shop, or the book store. You also hopefully have friends, who are in no way related to your online meandering, who have other friends or family that are all members of a network of individuals that you can indulge yourself in. By-chance encounters or network interactions have proven not only possible but successful by plenty of individuals who didn't have any other options before the advent of such socializing interfaces. Besides, forming friendships and relationships through these avenues allows us to develop, mature, and experience life in a healthy manner. It is beneficial for each person to adapt to any given environment and force oneself to interact face-to-face with other people.

The best way to get the ball rolling, if you've already been captivated by the online dating world, is to cancel that account of yours and say to yourself, "This is my only option- finding someone here in this jungle of life in a traditional and natural manner." It isn't as easy as searching for a man by filling out a form of specific options and then clicking enter, but it is far healthier, safer, and more beneficial for the human race. Technology can improve and its uses can progress, but if the entirey of our construction of relationships is mechanized as well, then we will have lost the true essence of human interaction.